If I cried a thousand tears
by Gloomy-Kid-609-Biter-108
Summary: Based on the song Missing Me, also known as If I cried a thousand tears by RJ Helton. Mukuro's Point of View, a short one-shot.


A short one-shot

Mukuro Rokudo's Point of View (POV) - If I cried a thousand tears

Hibari Kyoya's Point of View (POV) - 12:51 - another story

~ - Missing Me - ~

_A lonely illusionist remembering every memory he can._

_Memories about him and his skylark._

_How he missed those kinds of memories but memories are just like illusions that may be real but are only fantasies._

He remembered the feeling when the skylark touches or holds his hands. The way they stay close, side by side, in a cold weather. They would always hold hands, and even though people discourage them. They would never let each other go. _He never wants to let go. _

He also remembered the sweetest words that his skylark rarely say to him. The skylark rarely opens up to him so he would do anything just to hear those kind and loving words again even though he could only hear it once.

How he loved those memories.

He's still so confused. Why does this have to happen? Why can't they go on and on? Why can never Hibari belong in his arms?

Why does he have to suffer this kind of fate? How he hated it. He even hated destiny.

_What if he cries a thousand tears, will he come back to him?_

_What about he tried to walk on water, will he even come out to sea?_

_He can't live without him, he can't stand without him, he can't do anything without him. He hates this kind of life._

_How he misses him so much, yet he knows that he will never miss him back._

_~ - _Missing Me - ~

He wanted to take a stroll, take a walk, take a break from all of this stabbing pain and this kind of suffering he lives in. He wanted to have a peace of mine and maybe, just maybe, try not thinking about his precious skylark for once yet it's still so hard for him.

He, then, met a girl just by bumping her accidentally. He stared at her and it seems that she had gotten lost. Mukuro rarely goes out in the outside world but he knows that this girl is a new face in town. He apologized and pardoned for bumping her and the girl just smiled, nodded, and "It's fine. Accidents happen a lot, you know."

Mukuro forced a smile so that the girl wouldn't worry about him even though they just had met. They talked and talked for hours. Mukuro, forgetting his problems, kept chatting. He was finally smiling and laughing for the first time in long months. He chuckled, smiled, and laugh his signature laugh. He never smiled like that for a long time, it was more than what he does when he's with Hibari but those smiles and laughs with his precious Kyoya, are special than laughs with anybody. It was great because he felt like every problem of his are gone. Even though, it was still there, he didn't felt it that much.

"Kufufu~ Is that so?" is what he said.

He, then, realized a spying skylark.

His eyes widened to see a hurt skylark, and as his skylark ran away he frowned. His eyes saddening, dulling, and filling with despair, grief, sorrow, sadness, and melancholy.

How he wanted to chase after Hibari but no, he cannot.

He knew that the skylark was about to cry. He knew that the skylark's heart was purely shattered into pieces. He knew that his skylark will be gone forever in his life and he can't just let that happen.

For years, they loved each other and it seemed that he was losing his skylark already, which he already has. Even so, he will never let go of his precious skylark.

"Uh, Mister?" the girl said, snapping him out. "I'll be going now, thank you for taking my time. It was all worth it." she smiled and started to walk away.

Mukuro simply nodded and stared at the direction where Hibari ran.

_It's funny that his heart couldn't let go._

_He just doesn't seem to understand._

_It's crazy how the pain of his seems to overflow._

_Those memories of his, his skylark being with him by his side. _

_He can't deny that, truly, he is the love of his life._

He ran to the street where he noticed his spying skylark. He ran as fast as he can. He kept running and dashing until the sun would set.

At last, he finally reached Namimori Middle School. He, then, saw his skylark He was leaning against a lonesome tree. He saw that he was clenching his chest, he was so still yet in just a few minutes, he knew that he would collapse. He slowly walked to him but stopped in his tracks as he heard the words that he never imagined that he would dare say it. It, then, broken his heart into two pieces then as he heard more hurtful words it shattered into pieces.

Why would he say those kind of words? Why could he say those painful and hurtful words? Why... Why? Why!?

He doesn't understand. He couldn't believe it. When he had heard those words, how he wanted to die so much!

"How could you say that!?" he shouted a loud, enough for Hibari to hear.

Hibari looked around and saw nothing. Luckily, Mukuro was fast enough and reflexive to use his illusions swiftly.

He looked down in despair, his face darkening in sorrow and then he disappeared into the mist.

_~ - _Missing Me - ~

_He still cries for him, so much._

_He would die for him, even though there was another way._

_He couldn't believe on such words he had heard, he couldn't bare hear the words that he said._

_The words were repeating all over his head and he can't take it._

_He still longs for him, yearns for him, and he still desires for him no matter what._

_He was strong for him, but not anymore._

_He couldn't believe that his precious skylark, his beloved- so called- lover, would throw it all away so easily._

He was lying on his tattered couch, the very couch on where he sat when they first met. How he missed those memories. He was an illusionist, so why can't he make illusions to pleasure himself? But, no.

It wouldn't be real eve if he could feel it or make it real.

It was getting late, too late. He can't sleep at all and whenever he falls asleep he would have these horrible nightmares. He can't bare to live in this kind of world. It was a cruel and devastating world.

He would always grab the head of his trident and try to plunge it against him but, then, he can't.

_He can't spend his life standing by all alone, now._

_He misses him so much, too much to be exact, and he loves him, still, and yet..._

_...he knows that his love for his precious lover can never be returned and that he could never be missed again._

Does he even have a choice left?

Maybe, he just needs to wait and see what will happen next and he might not know that his precious skylark would be come back running to him.

* * *

Based on the song Missing Me, also known as If I cried a thousand tears by RJ Helton.

**Note:** _I didn't discover this song because of my classmates, unlike the song 12:51. I discovered this song when I was playing 12:51 and somehow it suddenly popped out of nowhere. Mysterious things happening to this computer. I still don't trust the internet and its unusual happenings. Not to offend anybody but I had a lot of traumatic moments when I was using the internet so don't bother asking it in the review. *sighs*... I just hate the past, but the past is the past, what happened, happened. You can never rewind, reverse or turn back time, nobody can. I chose this song for Mukuro's Point of View because this song really reminded me of him. It just hurts when you want to see that person again, yet you can never as long as somebody is stopping you. __I know he won't be able to read this story but the heck I care anyway. He's gone forever so what's the point? I only want to write how I feel. He's gone... _*sighs again*... Anyway, enough with this worthless blabbering, that's all what I've got to say. *smiles a bit but a tear suddenly pours down*... Yeah, that's all. *wipes it away yet more tears seem to run down*... D-Da...


End file.
